This Week In Photos [2].

Self Portraits & Flowers 

I realise Thursday is a strange day for publishing a post like this, but I simply couldn't wait until Sunday and rules are made to be broken right? I'll be honest and say this is more so two and a half weeks worth of photos and writing rolled into one as life has been quiet recently. Like the tick tock-ing of an old clock, things have just been 'the usual'. I wake up, browse twitter and instagram whilst lamenting deleting the Facebook and Messenger apps off of my phone for 'productivity' reasons. I brush my teeth, shower and put on some cosy clothing, usually some leggings and a baggy jumper. I skip the bra part and let my now slightly downward turning boobs fall free (the joys of getting older eh), I check each boob for anything foreign and I have to thank Lauren and her battle with breast cancer for this addition to my routine (read her poignant post about it here) - also if you're reading this and you have boobs, please check them right this second! Ok after poking and prodding my chest, I go downstairs shrug my shoulders at my usual oats for breakfast and simply have a coffee with rice milk and a dash of honey for sweetness. Sometimes I'll throw a biscuit in my mouth and race back upstairs. I debate opening my laptop or procrastinating via Netflix - Who knew Drag Race was so addictive? I watch a few episodes falling a little bit more in love with Raja and then I look at the time. *siiiiiiiigggggggghhhhh* I crack my knuckles, make another coffee and with some reluctance open up both my blog e-mails and my architecture e-mails, there is a flurry of lovely things, kind feedback, the odd press release and invoice updates on the blog e-mail front. I switch over to the architecture e-mail side and I see linkedin promotions, newsletters and.... another rejection, although this time, it's different, it's detailed, it's kind and it's personalised, the director goes on to wish me luck with my future endeavours and invites me to connect on LinkedIn. This time rejection stings a little less and I'm grateful for his time and consideration. I continue with tap tap tapping away, applying for more roles, signing contracts and updating my calendars and looking for more freelance work to fill my time. 
There were good and less mundane things that happened though, for example I went to a flower arranging workshop by Bloom & Wild at The Artists Residence Hotel and it was THE BEST! I got play with arrangements and colours inspired by the great works of Henri Matisse and I also got to catch up with Kristabel, Brenda and Natasha and talk colour, walls and delicious brownies... Another lovely thing was a sweet gift from Sally who kindly sent over a wonderful tea set from Jing complete with some Bohea Lapsang, Lemongrass & Ginger and Earl Grey.
I have been obsessed with Jamie Beck's photography and indeed her dreamy life in Provence. Reading about her move from the big apple to a very quaint and quiet part of France has been nothing short of inspirational. I can't even begin to explain the joy I get from her photographic work and cinemagraphs, the detail in incredible, like the paintings of the old masters, she draws ones eyes in.. I was inspired by her self portraits and set up my camera one lazy dark afternoon to play around. I think I'll be doing this a lot more as I'm finding it a good way to practice 'face', and to improve my manual shooting skills.

Anyway, how has October been for you so far?  It feels like this year has zoomed by so quickly! I can't believe we're approaching November..



How To Be A Better Person.

Nobody will know you as well as you know yourself. You know your deepest most wildest desires, you know what makes you tick, you know what will bring a smile to your face. You also know what will irritate you and what will bring out the worst in you, you also know the darker parts of yourself that aren't so good. Now no one is perfect, and no one ever will be perfect because we're humans, and as humans we do good things and we can also do bad things, and people can and will unfortunately do bad things to us. During my late teens and early twenties, I was a ball of emotions. I was angry, sad, disappointed, disillusioned and I didn't know how to control those feelings so it was often the people closest to me that were pierced with the shrapnel from an explosion of harsh words and not so kind actions whenever things weren't 'okay'. I made a conscious effort to undo this type of behaviour and I think it's important to be able to self analyse and pin point areas of weakness or ways in which you'd like to grow positively. I've noted three key ways in which I've been trying to keep myself in check over the years and I thought the boss lady suit trend would be the perfect way to share this with you guys!

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ Take On Board Criticism. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼
If there's anything that Architecture school taught me, it was to take on board criticism whether I liked it or not, and by this I mean not going into defence mode if people tell you that your actions are hurtful or harmful. More often than not, people are telling telling you because they care about you and your well being, as well as the types of vibes you're giving off. Listen and really make a point to understand their point of view, even if you don't agree it's highly respectful to at least listen to what others are saying (as long as it isn't extremely inappropriate that is). Analyse the criticism and ask why they feel that way, and ask advice on how you can begin to implement better practices. A good example of this is having Supal and Kristabel always giving me honest opinions on my blog posts, what works better than others, ways I'm doing well and places where I can do a little better, and I truly appreciate their honesty because they want the best for me and this little space on the web!

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ Think Of How It Will Make Others Feel. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼
I wrote a small thread on twitter this week lamenting our lack of empathy in the 21st century. A great way that I keep myself in check in regards to the things that come out of my mouth is to first think of how it might make others feel. Do I want to be *that* person? Someone who is forever critical and judging, someone who always puts their emotions first, someone who doesn't think of the bigger picture and the long term effects? No. I don't, so I remind myself constantly that words do indeed have power and this power should be used wisely. There's an old Yoruba saying that goes something along the lines of "You don't need to use the whole of your mouth to say things" and its a saying that keeps me in line on a daily basis.

 ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ Be The Bigger Person. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼
Living in London, I've had to really learn to reign it in because whooooo lawd will people try you! Instead of arguing with strangers on the tube, I've learnt that for my sanity and well being it's better to just walk about from minor altercations. Gotta shrug it off and take the high road sometimes because in the long run what will arguing with a stranger who pushes in front of you for the tube do? Absolutely nothing except get you more angry because the person in question will not give a single shit about you and your feelings and you'll just expend more unnecessary energy getting angry at them. Long story short? Shake it off and let it go. It's not worth it.

What ways do you keep yourself in check?

What I Wore...

BOSS LADY VIBES - myself | COAT , SHIRT, TROUSERS & LOAFERS all c/o boden | GLASSES - rayban | LIPSTICK - colourpop



3 Things I Learned After University.

Regent Street
My graduation photos sit grandly in my parents living room, my face awkwardly channeling Tyra Banks' infamous 'Smize' and my hands gripping the faux diploma with mild panic because if I remember correctly my earring was just about to fall off. I walk past this photo almost daily, and each day I look at it with a mixture of surprise, annoyance and mild exasperation. I finally did it. This won't be a post on my university experience because I still don't think I'd be able to properly write about it without being super biased given my current life situation, so that'll come... Soon. But in the meantime, the biggest life changes for me have come after the studying, after the celebrations, after the degrees.

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼  1. How To Deal With The "What Are You Doing Now?" Question.  ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

The most asked question I get online, meeting someone for coffee or even just from family and friends in passing is "So what are you doing now?", and it's a question I'm still not really sure how to answer. You see, I'm sort of just... getting on with things, "what things?" they ask. "Well... a bit of everything really" I reply cryptically, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot wishing the questions would end, but as soon as you don't give a definitive answer, oh ho! that's the very moment in which the questioner begins to fire off a series of job interview like questions in regards to your situation. People are naturally curious, that's just how we work and for the most part people aren't asking to be mean or nosy, but more so they genuinely want to know how you're doing, so now I'm less awkward when people ask and I try to gently unpack that my blog, Instagram and a handful of freelance jobs are my job at the moment.

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ 2. How To Be Patient. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

I am one of the most impatient people in the world. I like things to be efficient, quick and well done. I have no time for slow walking people in central London and I tap my fingers furiously if my food takes too long in the microwave. I've touched on this before, but whilst finishing off my degree show, I was adamant everything would have fallen into place by August latest. I had even pre-planned my 26th Birthday celebrations which were to be held in Paris. It's now October, and we're hurtling fast towards Christmas and guess what, none of what I had planned worked out. During this time I've forcibly learned the fine virtue of patience or run the risk of going batshit crazy. A watched pot never boils as the old saying goes...

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼  3. How To Be Humble. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

For someone who had naively pre-planned the entirety of her life post university, the slap that reality dealt me upon finishing was unbelievable. I was like WOOOOOOOOW so this is how it's going to be?? With a good 95% of my year employed quickly after university, I genuinely did not think I'd be one of the very few struggling to find a job after I'd finished. The feeling was and in a way still is, very awful. I spent a lot of June, July and August crying, comparing myself to others and slating my own work. In that time I gradually began to realise a very hard truth, and that was that I wasn't in any way special. Now hear me out, this isn't me belittling myself, but rather opening my eyes to understand that I wasn't the only graduate in this situation, there are millions of us striving for a better life, for better jobs, for the career we've dreamed of and worked hard for, and that it's just a combination of luck, hard work and good timing that determines things. I understood that I just had to keep going and in the meantime adopt gratitude and happiness in all other things that were coming my way until my dream job came knocking.

So my friends, what valuable lessons has life taught you?

What I Wore...

DRESS c/o sugarhill boutique | BAG c/o coach | SHOES - zara 



This Week In Photos [1].

In addition to sharing snippets that don't quite fit on the curated Instagram grid over on my stories, this week I thought about documenting daily life this week through a series of more 'mundane' photos and it's been incredibly fun just taking out my camera and snapping away. There's something very liberating about taking photos for fun as opposed to the more serious moolah backed and contact signed photos that come with brand collaborations. A healthy balance of both is best I suppose as a gal's gotta eat, but a gal's also gotta have fun! 
I consider Sunday the *real* beginning of the week for me. Sunday's are slow for us, filled with coffee, church, friends and finding corners of West London we've yet to explore. Sunday's word was on hearing and understanding the word but choosing not to abide by it and it was something that really resonated with me and I left feeling a lot more thoughtful in regards to how I honestly live my life vs how I'd like to live my life. My goal for the week was to be more patient - I failed miserably and ended up cursing a very rude man who walked into me later on that week oops!
Monday was lovely because we swanned around Southwark for the morning checking out Hej Coffee before afternoon tea and clay sculpting at London Wildflower. I'd met the founder, Nikki at a dinner Airbnb hosted for us back in July and I just knew I wanted to learn more about Nikki and her classes. It felt odd at first, feeling so at home in a strangers house sat around a table playing with lumps of clay with women from all walks of life, and indeed all over the world. It was nice to just let go and embrace a childlike view of creating, capturing and having fun. I loved that the whole experience wasn't to take home a perfectly polished piece but rather to just let go and be in the moment. 
On Tuesday I went to Acton to visit  my Archi-friend and old flatmate Domi who recently moved to London. We went to Kew Gardens in Richmond which I'd never quite gotten round to visiting. It was BEAUTIFUL! (But ridiculously warm!). Much of the day was spent oogling beautiful foliage, admiring the joints on the hive installation and reminiscing about postgrad.
The rest of the week was a blur of job rejections with the same "we liked you, we just liked someone else better" line, and after not one, but three job rejections within an hour on Thursday, I promptly shut my laptop, went to make some green tea, and opened a book instead which is a vast improvement from me welling up with tears and tearing myself to shreds so *clap clap* for me on my progress haha! My friend Stuart landed an Architecture role up in Manchester this week which made me super happy! But also sad as we worked together during our year out so I'll miss his presence down south a lot, but it means more visits back to the lovely north! I love Manchester so I can't wait to go visit when he's all settled in.

What has your week looked like?


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