10.06.2017

3 Things I Learned After University.

Regent Street
My graduation photos sit grandly in my parents living room, my face awkwardly channeling Tyra Banks' infamous 'Smize' and my hands gripping the faux diploma with mild panic because if I remember correctly my earring was just about to fall off. I walk past this photo almost daily, and each day I look at it with a mixture of surprise, annoyance and mild exasperation. I finally did it. This won't be a post on my university experience because I still don't think I'd be able to properly write about it without being super biased given my current life situation, so that'll come... Soon. But in the meantime, the biggest life changes for me have come after the studying, after the celebrations, after the degrees.

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼  1. How To Deal With The "What Are You Doing Now?" Question.  ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

The most asked question I get online, meeting someone for coffee or even just from family and friends in passing is "So what are you doing now?", and it's a question I'm still not really sure how to answer. You see, I'm sort of just... getting on with things, "what things?" they ask. "Well... a bit of everything really" I reply cryptically, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot wishing the questions would end, but as soon as you don't give a definitive answer, oh ho! that's the very moment in which the questioner begins to fire off a series of job interview like questions in regards to your situation. People are naturally curious, that's just how we work and for the most part people aren't asking to be mean or nosy, but more so they genuinely want to know how you're doing, so now I'm less awkward when people ask and I try to gently unpack that my blog, Instagram and a handful of freelance jobs are my job at the moment.

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ 2. How To Be Patient. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

I am one of the most impatient people in the world. I like things to be efficient, quick and well done. I have no time for slow walking people in central London and I tap my fingers furiously if my food takes too long in the microwave. I've touched on this before, but whilst finishing off my degree show, I was adamant everything would have fallen into place by August latest. I had even pre-planned my 26th Birthday celebrations which were to be held in Paris. It's now October, and we're hurtling fast towards Christmas and guess what, none of what I had planned worked out. During this time I've forcibly learned the fine virtue of patience or run the risk of going batshit crazy. A watched pot never boils as the old saying goes...

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼  3. How To Be Humble. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

For someone who had naively pre-planned the entirety of her life post university, the slap that reality dealt me upon finishing was unbelievable. I was like WOOOOOOOOW so this is how it's going to be?? With a good 95% of my year employed quickly after university, I genuinely did not think I'd be one of the very few struggling to find a job after I'd finished. The feeling was and in a way still is, very awful. I spent a lot of June, July and August crying, comparing myself to others and slating my own work. In that time I gradually began to realise a very hard truth, and that was that I wasn't in any way special. Now hear me out, this isn't me belittling myself, but rather opening my eyes to understand that I wasn't the only graduate in this situation, there are millions of us striving for a better life, for better jobs, for the career we've dreamed of and worked hard for, and that it's just a combination of luck, hard work and good timing that determines things. I understood that I just had to keep going and in the meantime adopt gratitude and happiness in all other things that were coming my way until my dream job came knocking.


So my friends, what valuable lessons has life taught you?


What I Wore...


DRESS c/o sugarhill boutique | BAG c/o coach | SHOES - zara 

x

17 comments

  1. Agree to this! Especially the being patient part. I usually love to have it all worked out. And re-learning that sometimes things just don't go as planned. You'd be fine!

    KacheeTee.com

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    1. Patience truly is a virtue isn't it! Thank you Kachi

      xo

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  2. This is so important girl! Patience and humility will take you far. They're worth learning. Also, I'm nearing the end of school now and everyone's already asking "...so, what's next?!" It's weird. Things will be okay eventually x

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    Replies
    1. They're honestly two very difficult things to have to re-learn, especially as an adult, but oh so worth it! Ahhh good luck with the final stretch, you can do it!

      xo

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  3. This article is full of truth! I am also in that situation where I have not yet found my "ideal" job,but I am learning to embrace every little opportunity that comes my way. Being patient definitely pays off.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Khanyi! Keep embracing all the other opportunities coming your way, eventually things will work out, all in divine timing!

      xo

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  4. I know exactly how you feel. When I finished my ACCA qualification, it took 2 years for me to find a job. I was squatting with one of my closest friends and it was sometimes hard to watch her get ready every morning and dash off to work.

    I found myself binge watching a lot of reality tv which was when I discovered the show "Fashion Bloggers". The show really moved me and drove me to take up photography and start my blog. I also found myself getting lost in YouTube videos. Then I came across the documentary "The Secret" and thought I had nothing to lose by putting it into practice. I wrote some ridiculous things like getting married to my boyfriend (2 months into the relationship) within 6 months of meeting. I also wrote down my dream job title and the exact amount I wanted for it. I was shocked when my husband actually proposed after dating for 4 months and we got married 2 months later. Shortly after, I got the exact job I wrote down with the salary set £400 more than what I actually put down.

    Fast forward today, I've now quit the job I so desperately wanted at the time because I found my passion in photography and my blog which all came about in that time where I thought nothing was happening to me. I wouldn't trade those 2 years of sitting at home and doing nothing for anyone other experience because I believe it actually got me to this point in my life.

    I look forward to reading about your progress. Thanks for sharing.

    Onyi x

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    Replies
    1. Onyi this is soooo inspiring! Two years?! I feel like I should stop complaining because it's only been since about April for me aha! I'm so proud of you in regards to all you have achieved, especially in regards to your photography which is so thoughtful and rich. Thanks for sharing your experiences <3

      xo

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  5. Firstly, congratulations on getting through it because that in itself is an achievement even when it feels like nothing's coming from it, it will eventually because sometimes it takes a while for the right opportunity to come along. I think you hit the nail on the head with the patience part, so hard not to compare ourselves to others but some people get going right away and some take a bit more time, I think it can be the same on every industry but even knowing that doesn't make it easier to cope with.

    This post speaks to me so much, I've started to dread the 'so what are you doing now?' And so what are you doing next?' Moments as I chose to go into a field that where jobs are few and far between especially for unknowns. I feel like I was so optimistic this time last year and even though I had a great job for a while I'm just having to learn to cope with the fact that my 'inbetween job' is my actual job for the time being.


    Thank you for writing this post and sharing so much, it's never easy and I wish you all the luck in finding your dream job!

    Rosalie x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Rosalie! Patience is one of the hardest things I think we have to learn as humans, it can simple make or break us. Deep down I feel like if you want something enough and you're a good person, the universe will conspire to make it happen. Here's to happier days for us all <3 Good luck with everything!

      xo

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  6. I didn't get a 'career' job after uni and struggled so much with the 'so what are you doing now' question, especially from my friends at uni who knew how hard I worked. But, your blog is amazing girl, and I hope the next three months bring you far fewer tears than June, July and August

    Steph - www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. Oh I know how that feels! My well meaning friends are forever asking how the job hunt is going and although I know its only because they care some times it's hard to have to continually say it's unsuccessful. Hope all worked out for you in the end lovely lady! And thank you so much for the kind words <3

      xo

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  7. I can really relate with this post but better days are coming

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    1. Amen, I hope so for all of us! <3

      xo

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  8. Anonymous10/08/2017

    I am so impressed by your ability to blog through these difficult times, before the answers are clear, before you can look back and know it was all going to work out in the end. I think of it as 'living in the middle' and find it awkward and uncomfortable. I don't really want anyone to ask what is going on. It is important for us all to realise that this is often the reality. Keep on going.

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    1. Thank you! Do you know what, I think writing it all out on the web is a strange way of coping with it all, and a nice way to feel less *alone* with all these thoughts constantly swimming in my head :) Hope things better better for you, better days are ahead!

      xo

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  9. Oh my goodness, I can relate to your first and third points so much. I kind of feel like you wrote this for me, crazy as that sounds. Where I'm at right now in life is definitely not where I thought I would be. I really had everything planned out right from high school. I suppose one thing I've learned this year is that life owes you nothing at the end of the day. It's been a tough pill to swallow but such a great lesson for me.

    That's such a beautiful dress and I'm really glad that you reply your comments now :)
    Coco Bella Blog

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Thankyou for commenting :) I read every single one!

XOXO Sade

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