On: The ‘Thank You’s’.

“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you who you are” the saying goes… I’m very lucky to have a diverse and brilliant group of friends from all ages and all walks of life. From my two sisters Yossy and Emmy who are the sunshine to my rain. To my Bengali, Moldovan and Filipino Architecture babes who have seen me at my best and my very worst (unshowered, sweaty, without sleep and living on caffeine in the library), to my Hillsong London sisters who will pray for me and hold my hand during the storm and worship with me during the good times, or my blogging besties who’ll show endless support across my socials,  Gal – Pals are the best aren’t they? I’m loathe to admit that I used to be one of those girls who proclaimed with vigor, that I preferred the company of guys because ‘girls were too bitchy’ when in actual fact, it was I that was bitchy and childish and a bit of a rubbish girlfriend (This is an honest space – We only speak the truth here!). Over the years I’ve grown to really appreciate my female friendships and I’ve touched briefly on this in my Gal-entine’s post with my girl Sherida.

My mother once told me that there are two types of friendships in this world. There are friends, and there are friends who are friends by association. There friends who are there for the successes, the clink-clink of champagne glasses over unpronounceable dishes in Mayfair, the luxe and glamour, the excitement! The “what are you dabbling in at the moment dahhhhling!” and hushed tones of “you’re doing so well for yourself!” brimming with inquisitiveness and future plans with a sprinkling of “oh that sounds brilliant – make sure I’m involved!”…. Then there are the friends who will call you at 10:47 pm, just when you’re about to sleep to tell you that they suddenly thought of you and wanted to know how you are really doing, how the job search is and how you’re coping with life after university. The friends that listen as you start with a brave… “Everything is.. fine..” but end up sobbing open-mouthed with heaving chest, whispering “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know if I’m fine. I’m so lost” over and over again. The friends who don’t say “everything will be ok”, but instead drag you out for a coffee which then turns into one cocktail, then suddenly it’s happy hour and a few more very strong drinks later, you’re both giggling like school kids, flirting with the bartenders, giving advice to other girls in the toilet and stumbling towards Mc Donalds for Nuggets. The ones who truly want to do life with you.

In June, I sobbed on my then bedroom floor as I threw my clothes into Poundland bin liners. What was I going to do? I had everything planned out to a T, and the thought of going off the straight road into the dense, damp uncomfortableness of the unknown scared the crap out of me. This was it, this was yet another brand new start and I was tired of new starts, I wanted to just settle, but God was like nah my g you’re going down that winding path whether you like it or not. I told Kristabel and Supal that I was unexpectedly moving back and before I had even finished unpacking back at my parents I was already meeting them for one too many flat whites and cakes in hipster coffee shops across central London. They sprang into action with pragmatic advice, no-nonsense reassurance and constant company so that I wouldn’t have to do my job applications alone at my desk day after day. On the eve of my 26th Birthday, I wrote a list of all the good and bad things that had occurred during 25 and it left me reeling with disappointment. The next day, I was greeted with a bouquet, thoughtful gifts and ice cream for my Birthday thanks to the kindness of Yossy, Supal, Ngoni, Kristabel and Zahra.

K-Bel & Soups…

Kristabel [ A veritable force of colour, giggles, superb content and generosity].

I found Kristabel’s corner of the internet when I typed in ‘Black UK female bloggers’ into google one day back in 2012 I think. If you think finding black bloggers in the blogging landscape nowadays is hard, back then it was next to impossible so when I found Kristabel’s blog I was truly in awe and a little bit starstruck. Here was a black blogger doing huge campaigns and being unapologetically herself – amazing! We finally met a few years ago over delicious Thai food in Islington and have been pals ever since. Since June I’ve been occasionally working side by side with Kristabel on a few of her personal projects as a PA, encourager and e-mail answer-er which has been so much fun, and also so very helpful monetarily given my current situation. What I truly love about Kristabel (apart from her nuggets of wisdom) is her practical generosity, acts such as asking me to help her out with photographic and graphic design work, or suggesting me to brands as part of campaigns she’s doing (such as the Copenhagen trip) is so very kind it’s almost unfathomable. Words are all very nice but action is… tangible. 

Supal [ A no-nonsense, silly ball of lad banter, business lady and agony aunt].

I met Supal through Kristabel – Although none of us can quite remember how, when, or why for some reason, time flies when you’re having fun eh? Regardless Supal is my productivity bae and when we get our laptops out in the British Library there is a whirlwind of ideas, cheeky jokes and exciting plans for the future. She is such an energetic ball of Indian and Americanisms with sprinkles on top, and the days I’ve spent cross-legged in her flat surrounded by snacks rifling through her wardrobe for clothes and gossiping about guys are the most fun! It’s such an honour to have friends who have a fire burning in them to be ‘more’ to always smash, scatter and stamp on the norm. To destroy the boundaries that ‘should’ hold them back and to prosper and use that prosperity to help others. Women amongst many whom I truly admire and love from the bottom of my heart.

I also need to say another thank you.

And that thank you, is to you reader. You sit miles away from me at your laptop, or on your mobile devices, reading my grammatical error-filled paragraphs documenting bit’s and pieces of my life and you read these words, digesting them, and regurgitating kindness in the form of comments that touch my heart and soul in ways I wish you could comprehend. You, reader, are incredible and a huge part of In My Sunday Best. Yes, I write on this little space on the web for myself, a form of catharsis I suppose, but I also write because of the conversations each post starts, that span the blog, twitter, Instagram and even e-mail! I have a little tab in my e-mails with all the kind e-mails I’ve received over the years (if they haven’t landed in my junk box!) and they’re filled with your honest confessions, thanks, questions and more. So thank you. Thank you for the kindness, the encouragement, the good wishes, the curiosity.

You are amazing. 

Thank you for making In My Sunday Best a pleasure this year, my friends.

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