The Girl Who’s Learning To Take Her Own Advice.

Last week Thursday I left the house in a hurry, applying lipstick as I hurtled down the road to the bus stop, keen not to miss my train (If you use Thameslink, you’ll know how frustrating it is to miss a train in a rush!), I got to the station with a minute to spare, only to see that the train was cancelled and there was a ten minute wait for my next one. The evening was balmy and the sun was shining so I sat on a bench and listened to a podcast, glancing impatiently at my watch every thirty seconds or so. Whilst I was waiting, an elderly lady approached me and complimented me on my boots, before sitting down beside me. I pulled out my headphones and greeted her smiling deeply, we immediately hit it off, and when the train finally pulled up, I decided to keep her company until I had to get off at Farringdon. We spoke about Nigeria, about faith, about her life when she was my age, about her children and so much more, before I got off, I gave her a hug and told her it was nice to meet her, she held my hands prayed for me and told me she wishes she had been like me when she was my age and that she’s excited about all that is to come for me. It was the third time that week that someone had, out of the blue, spoken life and good things into me.

For someone who writes paragraphs upon paragraphs of advice on here, I’ll throw my hands up and say that a good 70% of the time, I struggle to take my own words of wisdom. When the fear, anxiety and confusion come, a lot of the time it knocks me for six and I struggle to get back on form. A recurring theme in my life right now is not being able to see the promise that others see in me. I’ve been pushed forward for leadership roles, recommended for mentoring opportunities with disenfranchised youth (in particular young black women), and told that I’m actually nowhere near as ‘rubbish’ as I think I am in architecture. So why can’t I just walk in the promise and excitement that others are seeing in me? Because I’ve been ignoring one of the most important bits of advice I always give other people, which is not to see my identity in relation to career success, online popularity or anything else that is worldly and fleeting. 

So during this ‘winter’ period (metaphorically not literally! even though it is a chilly summer in the UK…) I’m going to take my own advice and throw off the identity that the world has labelled me with and walk out into my truth. Walking into new career opportunities knowing my full worth and holding my head high as a woman in the construction industry. Walking into leadership opportunities and shepherding the youth to greater heights. Walking into a more settled sense of self. 

What advice do you need to take from yourself?

What I Wore…

DRESS* – sugarhill boutique | BAG* – next | SHOES* – next | GLASSES* – dolce and gabbana via david clulow

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