10.12.2017

How To Be A Better Person.

Nobody will know you as well as you know yourself. You know your deepest most wildest desires, you know what makes you tick, you know what will bring a smile to your face. You also know what will irritate you and what will bring out the worst in you, you also know the darker parts of yourself that aren't so good. Now no one is perfect, and no one ever will be perfect because we're humans, and as humans we do good things and we can also do bad things, and people can and will unfortunately do bad things to us. During my late teens and early twenties, I was a ball of emotions. I was angry, sad, disappointed, disillusioned and I didn't know how to control those feelings so it was often the people closest to me that were pierced with the shrapnel from an explosion of harsh words and not so kind actions whenever things weren't 'okay'. I made a conscious effort to undo this type of behaviour and I think it's important to be able to self analyse and pin point areas of weakness or ways in which you'd like to grow positively. I've noted three key ways in which I've been trying to keep myself in check over the years and I thought the boss lady suit trend would be the perfect way to share this with you guys!

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ Take On Board Criticism. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼
If there's anything that Architecture school taught me, it was to take on board criticism whether I liked it or not, and by this I mean not going into defence mode if people tell you that your actions are hurtful or harmful. More often than not, people are telling telling you because they care about you and your well being, as well as the types of vibes you're giving off. Listen and really make a point to understand their point of view, even if you don't agree it's highly respectful to at least listen to what others are saying (as long as it isn't extremely inappropriate that is). Analyse the criticism and ask why they feel that way, and ask advice on how you can begin to implement better practices. A good example of this is having Supal and Kristabel always giving me honest opinions on my blog posts, what works better than others, ways I'm doing well and places where I can do a little better, and I truly appreciate their honesty because they want the best for me and this little space on the web!

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ Think Of How It Will Make Others Feel. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼
I wrote a small thread on twitter this week lamenting our lack of empathy in the 21st century. A great way that I keep myself in check in regards to the things that come out of my mouth is to first think of how it might make others feel. Do I want to be *that* person? Someone who is forever critical and judging, someone who always puts their emotions first, someone who doesn't think of the bigger picture and the long term effects? No. I don't, so I remind myself constantly that words do indeed have power and this power should be used wisely. There's an old Yoruba saying that goes something along the lines of "You don't need to use the whole of your mouth to say things" and its a saying that keeps me in line on a daily basis.

 ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ Be The Bigger Person. ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼
Living in London, I've had to really learn to reign it in because whooooo lawd will people try you! Instead of arguing with strangers on the tube, I've learnt that for my sanity and well being it's better to just walk about from minor altercations. Gotta shrug it off and take the high road sometimes because in the long run what will arguing with a stranger who pushes in front of you for the tube do? Absolutely nothing except get you more angry because the person in question will not give a single shit about you and your feelings and you'll just expend more unnecessary energy getting angry at them. Long story short? Shake it off and let it go. It's not worth it.


What ways do you keep yourself in check?


What I Wore...

BOSS LADY VIBES - myself | COAT , SHIRT, TROUSERS & LOAFERS all c/o boden | GLASSES - rayban | LIPSTICK - colourpop

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4 comments

  1. You look beautiful in these photos, Sade! Completely agree - it's so important to look for your own weaknesses and try to target them. It's something I try to be aware of - sometimes I set little self-improvement goals for myself and aim for them throughout the month. x

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    1. Thank you Laila! <3 That sounds like a brilliant idea, I may implement that too! For example someone pointed out to me yesterday that I'm fond of forgiving but not ever forgetting and moving on if someone has wronged me (which means I haven't truly forgiven them) and it's something I know I definitely need to work on for the rest of the year! x

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  2. I totally agree with you on being empathetic. It's something I like to keep at the back of my mind. I cringe when I think of times that I've been not so kind and I hate that feeling . I do struggle with taking criticism, I get defensive quite easily. I'm working on it though, little by little haha.

    That's a great outfit you have on and a great post too! xx
    Coco Bella Blog

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    1. Empathy is such an important thing to remember, it's hard not to put your own emotions at the forefront of things but I truly believe it's something that has made my life a looooot easier, and has made me easier to be around! And thank you! <3

      xo

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Thankyou for commenting :) I read every single one!

XOXO Sade

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